… and offered him a single rose …

11 views • November 22, 2020
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No, but at Monica’s, you can eat cookies over the sink.

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Mom has pulled a surprise present from the closet.

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– Uh, linen closet. – The diapers?

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I left knickers under your pillow.

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Define “earth.”

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Finger cramp! Oh, God!

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Just a finger, maybe.

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Please insert your forearm into the forearm receptacle.

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And at my command, you’ll lick the dog shit from my boot heel.

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She shivers in the wind like the last leaf on a dying tree.

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Just putting a few things in the trunk.

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So basically you’re saying you don’t want to cheat on yourself.

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I don’t cheat, right? That’s not me. I’m not Joey!

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I don’t think Penny would cheat on Leonard.

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I can’t believe my mom would cheat.

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Find an ending. But don’t cheat.

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Don’t do it, Dad. Don’t cheat.

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Cheat, lie, I don’t care.

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Just don’t cheat this time.

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Sophie, come sit on Daddy’s lap.

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Just sit on Santa’s lap.

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A nice, sexy lap dance.

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Ooh! Mommy’s little baby is getting big and chubby.

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Oh! Her ankles are a little chubby.

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… I’ll break your chubby little legs.

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Chubby?

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Lance is a skinny guy with glasses and red hair.

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Too skinny.

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He was tall, broad shoulders, and thin, really thin, like bony.

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Public bathrooms freak me out. I can’t even pee, let alone do anything else.

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Let alone two women.

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Draw all the way back now to your cheek. That’s right.

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Don’t you worry your chubby little face about that.

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That’s a pretty big butt.

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Filthy toilet! You’re dead, Fluff Butt.

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Apparently you were a little mean to him in high school.

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Don’t feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until…

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-but showing up uninvited to a wedding. -Fiona!

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bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead

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I put one red thing in a load of whites and now everything’s pink.

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